Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
