remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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