She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Randomize
