What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Randomize
