From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
