my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
