I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I can't turn off my feet"
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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