Porn is love you can see.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
