its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
The convent might be a nice break from real life
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
