so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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