i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
meet me or not, i'm out of control
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize
