she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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