I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I want to fling myself into the sun
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
