I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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