I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
only if we run a train.
done.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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