i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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