please come you make the beer taste better
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
