This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
