another moral hangover. fuck.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
