So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
