i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
