In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
We don't watch enough power rangers
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
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