Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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