Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
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