Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
