She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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