trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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