White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
be right there i have to get my cape
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
