ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
