just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
