The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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