dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
