He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
