I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
PANTIES FOUND
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