I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
