I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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