you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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