was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
