He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Let's get the cat blown out
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
