He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
