At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
