I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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