I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
