Even the bartender felt bad for me
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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