Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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