You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Farmville is her only friend.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
