He is an equal opportunity slut.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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