I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
