I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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