a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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