the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
