pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
